I Will Follow You Into the Dark
by Shaneener
Summary: A songfic. Please read and review, because it took a lot out of me to write this. A oneshot.


The song is 'I Will Follow You Into the Dark' by Death Cab for Cutie. Even if you don't like this kind of music (sort of an acoustic rock) you have to listen to it as you read or afterwards. Don't ask, just do it. Please.

* * *

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark_

Jim gazed out of the hospital room window, his knitting project in his lap. Yes, he did know knitting was for women, but Pam had introduced him to it. She'd even bought him a whole kit for his sixtieth birthday.

Now, ten years later, the only gift he wanted was her to recognize him.

_  
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs  
_

Pam studied her hands. Next to her, a kind old man was dozing uncomfortably in a chair. He was nice enough, but Pam couldn't understand why he would visit her. He said he was her husband, but that wasn't possible.

She was only ten years old. She couldn't marry anyone.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

Jim drummed his fingers on his lap, waiting for the nurse to return with Pam's lunch. He would've gotten it himself, but his damn knee. He had ruined it at his eldest son's wedding, when he had the great idea to play football. He supposed that was the last time he was in a hospital.

Now, her Alzheimer's and diabetes had brought him back.

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
And I held my tongue as she told me  
"Son fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back 

Pam remembered her parent's divorce. It was two years ago, when she was eight. When her mom got the paperwork, he had turned to her and said, "Pamela, remember to hang on tightly to love. Never let it go."

Her father told her love didn't exist. She wondered if she should tell the old man beside her, because he would often whisper 'I love you' in his sleep.

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

Jim thought of his old roommate Mark. He had passed away a few years ago because of a stroke. He remembered Mark's funeral very well. It was as if thousands of people were gathered there to mourn the loss of a great friend and celebrate his amazing life.

Jim wondered if he'd be remembered like that.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark 

Pam's aunt had died when Pam was four. Pam didn't like her aunt. Her hair was blue and she smelled stinky. She remembered her mom crying, something she had never wanted to see. Mothers were meant to be brave.

Would she be a brave mommy?

You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
'Cause we'll hold each other soon  
The blackest of rooms

Jim looked back on their trip to Ireland. It was not the most recent trip he'd been on, of course. Rebecca had to be ten and George was probably eight. Jeff was probably not even in kindergarten yet. Pam was so happy to go, being very Irish. He remembered thinking that her eyes were much prettier than the rolling green hills.

As he looked into her eyes, now dull and lifeless, he found himself longing to be there again.

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

Pam smiled at the old man. He seemed so sad. She wondered if he was married. He was very handsome. For an old man, anyway. He'd probably make a good husband and a good dad.

Pam closed her eyes slowly, and she could almost imagine being in love with him.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark 

Jim ran his fingers through Pam's gorgeous hair for the last time. Her roots were gray, but the rest of her hair was still its brilliant color. She had been still for sometime, and the monitor had been quiet for awhile, but Jim didn't call the nurse.

Slowly, Jim reached into his pocket and grabbed his Boy Scout's camping knife. He smiled softly as the sharp edge plunged deep into his own skin.

He'd be with her soon.

Then I'll follow you into the dark 


End file.
